I Don't Deserve You
by BrandyWine97-64
Summary: Vivian Marshal lost her dad now she is in a funk, Her mom wants to move so they do on the way Vivian makes a wish on an eclipse the next night an accident occurs putting Vivian in a coma she wakes up in a hospital, but not any hospital in the Vampire Dairies. Turns out she has a life there but can't remember anything. *Whole Summary Inside* [Stefan/OC] *better than summary*
1. ch1 Death is fresh

**_(A/N)_**

**_Hey everyone, i really hope you like this story. This idea literally just came to me and i thought what the heck._**

**_Please leave a review and if you like this story follow and favorite it._**

**_Summary; Vivian Marshal , recently lost her dad and is now living with her mom, Mary. Mary decides it would be best if they move so they start to travel when an accident occurs Vivian is in a coma her mom is fine. The night before Vivian made a wish who would of thought it would come true. She wakes up in a non-yet familiar place. To find out she has a lover, best friends, but doesn't remember anything so they help her remember what she thinks is her life when in the end the real Vivian is stuck in a coma at the hospital. Vivian has to make a choice stay with her new life or home to her mom. If she stays her body at home dies, if she goes home she will never come back what will she do?_**

**_Mary Marshal portrayed by; Angelina Jolie _**

**_Vivian Marshal potrayed by; Selena Gomez_**

**_P.S the father isn't important he is dead. _**

**_The character on Vampire Dairies stay the same, but the plot changes. _**

**_Disclaimer; I own nothing besides my OC_**

**Vivian's POV**

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_Dear Dairy,_

_It's me, again. This was the worst summer ever. I lost my best friend, my partner in crime, a piece of me, I lost my father. He was the best dad ever, always put me first. I miss him like crazy; I just wish the accident never happened. I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of grieving, but I can't seem to let him go. My mom, is even worse than me, who can blame her she lost the love of her life the father of her kid her husband for the past nineteen years. Things aren't the same as they used to be, I hate it, I hate change to me it doesn't do any good. I just want it to all go away…_

"Vivian can you come down stairs please um we need to talk" My mother, Mary, shouts from downstairs. I sigh before shutting my dairy and climb out of bed. I make my way downstairs to see a bunch of boxes in the living room. I give my mom a questioning look waiting for her to elaborate. "Listen sweetie I know the last few months have been hard trust me I know, but I've been doing a little thinking that we need a new environment to start fresh so I decided that were moving…what do you think" My mom explains nervously. A part of me wanted to scream at her like how can she ask me that my life is here, this house, dad lived here this is our home, but another part of me kind of longed for it, but I was kind of scared but my mom deserve it, a fresh start and maybe so do I.

"Well, to be honest I'm a little…iffy about it, but if that's what you want then I say…let's do it" I say slowly, I give her a small smile. My mom smiles brightly before pulling me into a hug. I hug her back as I melt into the hug feeling my mother's warmth.

"Thank you sweetie" my mom whispers I nod against her shoulder. She pulls back from the hug and looks at me still smiling. "Well let's pack" she says I give another smile small, on the inside I was a little scared.

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_Dear Dairy_

_It's been a week sense my mom dropped the bomb were moving. Everything's packed; the house feels so empty and cold. It sucks saying goodbye, but if that makes my mom happy then I guess I have to get over it. It's going to be weird leaving Atlanta and be soon living in a small town in Pennsylvania, we haven't decided exactly where in Pennsylvania yet. I guess will find out soon, today is the day we start driving while our stuff stays behind until we find a place then it will get shipped. Wish me luck…I need it…and dad if you're looking down on us let us stay safe…._

"Hey honey ready to go" My mom asks as she walks in my room. I shut my dairy and sit up from my bed grabbing my bag. I simply nod to answer her question. "Good it's time we hit the road" she explains. We head downstairs and outside to the car my mom gets in while I take a second to look at our house. A two story white house with navy blue shudders and front door, I lived in this house sense I was born. I take a deep breath before hoping in the car. A tear rolls down my right cheek away from my mom I wipe it real quick not letting myself cry. "So I was wondering instead of driving straight there how about we take a pit stop at a hotel you know have mother daughter bonding" my mom asks. I look at her and smile at least I have her.

"That sounds great mom" I answer she smiles my way before focusing back on the road. We drive for a good amount hours when my mom pulls into a hotel. We check in and enter the hotel room and relax. My mom takes a shower while relax back on the bed flipping through the minimal channels the hotel provides. I stumble across a channel that looked to be playing a series I stopped to see a few hot guys. One has dirty short blonde hair with forest green eyes the other raven black hair and blue eyes. I look to see what it's called…"Vampire Dairies". I decide to watch it, apparently they are having a marathon I start watching season 1 episode 3. My mom come out and joins me, but soon passes out I stay awake waiting to see what happens next. My phone beeps in my bag I get up and pull it out to see I have a alert. I open the text to see that right now the eclipse outside is happening I rush to the window to see a slightly red moon. I smile at it this was the first one I ever got to see I close my eyes and make I wish.

"I wish I could be in the Vampire Dairies…away from this place…away from the pain…I want to find love I want experience something no one has…please" I whisper with my eyes closed I open them to still be in the trashy hotel. I sigh and shut off the TV before climbing in bed and fall fast asleep with a few tears down my face for my dad.

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	2. ch2 Wake me up when its all over

**_(A/N)_**

**_Thank you for all the support it means a lot._**

**_Sorry for any mistakes..._**

**_Disclaimer; i own nothing but my OCs_**

**Vivian's POV**

* * *

_Dear Dairy,_

_I woke up early, showered, got dressed now were on the road again. Last night what was I thinking, it is nearly impossible for me to suddenly appear on a TV show, but have it as my reality. What I really should wish for was my dad, but that is even more impossible. I watched so many episodes of the Vampire Dairies last night it's not even funny, I couldn't help it once I started I just didn't want to stop. It took my pain away it distracted me it let me feel what the characters were feeling it was nice not to feel sad and hurt for once but anxious and excited and the love coming off the characters. Of course there was some sadness, but it was different sadness, and I feel I can relate to Elena except at least I have my mom. Now I can't wait to watch it again…_

"How long were you up last night" my mom asks out of nowhere in the car. "You seemed content what was on the TV, and not to mention you seem a little…drowsy today" my mom explains I sigh and close my dairy.

"Um it was nothing just this… TV show, the Vampire Dairies it was different, but don't worry, I didn't stay up too late, and for being a little down today I just I don't know…" I trail off, but the thing is I know why I am down today.

"Okay just asking" she says "Did you get to see the eclipse" she asks looking at me I nod. "Wow…lucky I missed it I was totally out of it" my mom explains "Uh man I missed your first and maybe your last eclipse…"she trails off. "Did you make a wish" she says with a little excitement in her voice.

"Yeah…but it was kind of far fetch something impossible, so I don't think it would come true…and before you say anything" I start but then whisper "It wasn't about dad" I explain she just nods and drops the subject. We stay silent for the rest of the ride my mom turns on the radio and the song; 'Wake Me Up' by Avicii.

"_Feeling my way through the darkness_

_Guided by a beating heart_

_I can't tell where the journey will end_

_But I know where to start_

_They tell I'm too young to understand_

_The say I'm caught up in a dream_

_Well life will pass me by if I don't open my eyes_

_Well that's fine by me"_

It was getting dark outside, we were about a hour or so out of Pennsylvania. I look to see the clock to see that it's almost the same time as the eclipse last night.

_[2x]_

"_So wake me up when it's all over_

_When I'm wiser and I'm older_

_All this time I was finding myself_

_And I didn't know I was lost_

_I tried carrying the weight of the world_

_But I only have two hands_

_Hope I get the chance to travel the world_

_But I don't have any plans"_

The clock read the exact time of the eclipse I don't know why, but it is making me feel all giddy inside. Honestly I don't know why I am even worried about the time. I look up from my phone to see my mom half asleep I go to shake her or grab her attention when everything goes so fast.

My mom runs past a stop sign I go to look both ways I look to my mom's side to see it clear I look over through my window to see nothing but huge lights it was a fray truck. I scream out, only for it to be cut off by the truck hitting my side of the car. I feel my mom grabbing me to pull me away, but it was too late my door caves in on my legs the roof of the car bents down. The next thing I know our car flips I see nothing, but glass rolling with me when the car lands my head smack against the concrete when the car lands upside down and everything goes black. The last though in my head 'Dad why weren't you watching over us'

"_Wish that I could stay forever this young _

_Not afraid to close my eyes_

_Life's a game made for everyone _

_And love is the prize"_

* * *

The car was flipped upside down and smashed. The fray truck was fine just a few minor dents, but the driver was passed out for not wearing a seat belt causing him to hit his head off the steering wheel. The sound of sirens starts getting louder as they start to close in on the accident. The men in uniforms start to get the people out of the car and fray truck and into the ambulance for attention.

At the hospital the fray truck driver had a slight concussion, but is okay and walks away with a head ache and a few scratches bruises. Mary has a broken right leg and a few stitches to the head and a very aching body. The doctor walks into Mary's room to ask a few questions.

"Mrs. Marshal, Can you please tell me what exactly happened tonight" The doctor asks calmly. Mary slowly nods her head before clearing her throat

"I was driving I was starting to get sleepy I'm prescribed depression pills from the death of my late husband they sometimes have a side effect of drowsiness I was losing focus on the road I remember I started to feel panicky from running through a stop side I see these lights next thing I know I'm being pulled out of the car, and I was trying to grab my daughter- wait where is my daughter is she okay" Mary asks frantically. The doctor sighs out of guilt to give this depressed woman more bad news.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Marshal, your daughter Vivian hit her head pretty badly the doctors and paramedics tried all they can, I'm so sorry" the doctor rambles "Your daughter is in a severe coma meaning it could take weeks, months, maybe years to wake up" The doctor explains Mary starts bawling.

"Can I please see her" Mary asks. The doctor shakes his head.

"In a while they are cleaning and stitching her up also to warn you she is on life support, and if any time you want to pull the plug all have to do is say, but for right now you need to rest" the doctor explains Mary doesn't say anything, but nods._ How could i have let this __happened _Mary thought.

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	3. Ch3 VD Hospital

_**(A/N)**_

_**Thank you for all your support it means a lot.**_

_**Please keep leaving reviews good or bad. honesty is the best policy.**_

_**Thank you; Shaz112 and WriterReaderMusicianGirl13 your reviews are well appreciated and make me smile(:**_

**_Disclaimer_**_**; I own nothing, only my OCs**_

_**P.S In the Vampire Dairies this takes place after season 4 i'm redoing season 5 but Silas is already taken care of and all that and Stefan and Vivian got together when Elena and Stefan break up in season 4 episode 6. **_

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This is part where I say Dear Dairy, but I can't. I can't see anything, my eyes are closed, and my head hurts. I hear a distant beeping and very low whispers. I try so badly to move or open my eyes, but nothing. I feel trapped in my own body. I can't remember anything, well let's see…my name is Vivian Marie Marshal, I'm seventeen years old my birthday is September 8. I am about 5'5" feet tall dark brown hair and I'm pretty sure I have brown eyes. Oh my gosh that's all I remember, I can't remember what happened I can't remember anything. I feel lost I feel empty I'm tired of looking at nothing but black. I try to talk, but it comes out as a groan.

"Oh my god, Vivian are you okay, hey can you hear me, please baby wake up please I need you" I hear a males voice say thick with concern. I didn't recognize it at all I am so confused. I try to speak again, but more groans came out. I start to feel my fingers and toes and start to move them. My breathing becomes deeper and quicker. "That's it baby come on open your eyes for me come on" The voice says again. I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion I try to open my eyes again. I blink a few times, but the light was really bright, I continue to blink until I'm used to it. I look at my surroundings I was definitely in a hospital, I had IV in my arm there was a very gorgeous man sitting next to me he looked familiar maybe I seen him on TV? He had dark dirty blonde hair and forest green eyes his face shown concern and relief. There was a blonde hair girl and a dark skin girl there too. I look at them all confused when a doctor comes in.

"Oh good you're up, hi I'm Dr. Fell, do you know why you're in a hospital Vivian" Dr. Fell asks I just look at everyone like 'what the hell' I shake my head no she nods in understanding. "You were in a minor car accident you were fine then you fainted you seemed to be fine, and healthy, but to make sure I want you to stay overnight for observation okay" Dr. Fell explains I nod my head she smiles and walks out. The guy next to me hugs me and kisses me I froze before pushing him away and look at him funny. He looked kind of hurt they two girls looked confused. I clear my throat.

"Who are you" I ask the guy "and why did you just kiss me" I ask him he looks confused and more worried. I look at the girls "And who are you two, what's going on what happened, where am I besides at a hospital" I ramble on not really sure what to say I was desperate for answers.

"You don't remember" the dark skin says more in a statement way she walks closer to me "I'm Bonnie Bennett um we've been best friends sense the third grade, do you um remember Elena by any chance or Damon" Bonnie asks I shake my head. "Oh okay" she quietly. The blonde one then comes up she gives me a small smile.

"I'm Caroline, Caroline Forbes we've been best friend's sense freshman year, we met when we join the cheer squad together you tripped and fell on me and told me I was clumsy when really you were the one that fell" she explains with a smile, Bonnie giggles a little. I crack a little smile.

"That sounds like me" I say with a small smile but I drop it "But I'm sorry I don't-I um don't remember that or you" I say quietly she nods her head. I then turn my head back to him. "I'm guessing you're a friend too" I say with a little confusion.

"Actually, boyfriend" he says quietly my eyes go wide and nod and look at my hands not sure what to say. "I'm Stefan, Stefan Salvatore" he states I nod my head again not really sure what to say.

"So um what happened I don't remember anything, like nothing at all I'm totally blank here" I ramble. Stefan clears his throat. I couldn't believe he was my boyfriend now I am really mad I don't remember I mean like how long were we together were we in love did we sleep together a bunch of questions come to my mind. "Wait where are my parents I have some right" I ask

"Actually you don't" Stefan says quietly I look at him "Your dad died five years and your mom about four years ago" Stefan explain I nod a little sad "Um a few hours ago we were at the grill, Caroline and Elena were there, the girls went to play pool to give us a uh alone time, but we got into a fight I uh I left and according to the girls you left right after without a word so Bonnie went after you so you were on your way to the boarding house with Bonnie she wouldn't let you drive alone, when you lost control of the car and the car when into a tree, Bonnie came out fine, but you hit your head pretty good" Stefan explains.

"Um so where do I live, and who with or do I live alone I mean I'm seventeen right" I ramble again.

"Um you live with me and my brother you've been living with us for the past eight months" Stefan explains again.

"Oh okay um who's your brother" I ask trying to understand all this.

"Damon, Damon Salvatore" Caroline answers. "Also known as a complete dick" She explains I crack a smile and nod. Soon Bonnie and Caroline leave, leaving me and Stefan alone saying things were awkward was an understatement.

"so we were- or are together" I ask curiously he nods "Right so um how did we meet" I ask curiously I wanted to know everything this guy was or is mind wow. I don't think I ever had a boyfriend before, and here I am with this gorgeous thing, and not only are we together we live together, actually live together, man I had the life. I curiously look at my left head thank god there is no ring, just in case just wanted to make sure. I look back him waiting for an answer he has a small smile on his face I guess remembering how we met.

"We met over about a year ago, you were living with your aunt Mary, um we met at a cemetery" we chuckle I nod of course I thought. "You were visiting you parents I guess when you started to run you tripped and fell-"I caught him off

"First I meet Caroline falling than you…was that my thing" I ask with a small smile, he chuckles which causes me to smile more.

"I guess so, but um I saw you fall so I asked if you were okay, you started to ramble about some fog and a bird how it was all 'Hitchcock' " he puts quotes on the name I giggle "then we introduced our selves then after you left I found your dairy I asked the first person I saw to ask were you lived I returned it to you then you invited me to the Grill where we met up with Bonnie and Caroline" He finishes explains I nod.

"Wow" I breathe out this time he nods his head. He looked so sad I wanted hug him but I figure that would be a little weird. "I'm sorry" I say after a while he looks at me curiously "Obviously what we had or have is special I can tell they way you talk about us, and look uh me and my clumsiness strikes again and now you lost me" I explains softy tears start prick at my eyes one slides down my cheek.

"hey, hey it's okay" Stefan softly pulling me in hug, "And I didn't lose you your still here" he explains softly in my hair I hold him tighter loving how warm he is I breath him in he seemed perfect. I just wished I remembered.

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	4. Ch4 home

_**(A/N)**_

_**Thank you all for the reviews so far so good!**_

_**Also thank you for following and favorite-ing it means a lot(:**_

_**I will try to update as fast as i can!**_

_**Disclaimer i do not own the Vampire Dairies if i did Klaus and Stefan would be mine! i do own my OC(s)**_

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Stefan stayed the night with me in the hospital, he was such a gentlemen that he slept on the chair. I felt bad, but I'm not ready I mean I don't even know him. Yesterday I remember Stefan said I have a dairy today when I go to his house-or home whatever that will be my first mission to do maybe it will get me some clarity I could really use it right now. I'm just so confused and really sad I can't believe I lost my parents and had to live with my aunt, which that is another thing I need to ask Stefan where was she and why wasn't I still living with her. Also I need to meet this Tyler kid, and Matt, and Stefan's brother Damon and this Elena chick man I was popular or something, but I find that hard to believe. I may have lost my memory, but I know me I am clumsy, quiet, and somewhat of a loner and now I have this…gang.

"Oh you're up" Stefan says as he stretches, I couldn't help but stare at his flexed body I turn away when he looks at me. "Ready to go home today" he asks I clear my throat and nod he nods in return. "I'm going to get Dr. Fell" he points to the door before walking out. I stay in a sitting up position on the bed I look to the bed side to a bag I open it up to see a phone and clothes I think are mine. I grab the phone and look through it I go through contacts to see; Bonnie, Caroline, Damon, Elena, Elijah, Klaus, Matt, Mary, Stefan, and Tyler. Great two more names that I don't know, Elijah and Klaus now who are they. I exit that out and go to pictures to see me with the gang and people I assume is either Damon, Tyler, Matt, Elijah, or Klaus. I check my messages to see none I huff and grab the bag and take the IV out before heading into the bathroom to get changed. I get changed into blue jeans and a white t-shirt that clings to me I brush my hair and exit the bathroom to see Stefan and Dr. Fell waiting.

"I see you're ready to go" Dr. Fell says smiling I give a small smile in return. "Well I guess I can let you go just be patient with the memories okay I'm sure they'll come" she says with a small smile I nod. I walk over to Stefan and grab his hand which he smiles at the gesture.

"Let's get out of here" I state he smiles more "If you know me as much as you say you do you should know I'm terrified of hospitals" I say with a small smile he chuckles under his breath and nods before leading me out of the room. "So we're do _we _live" I ask as we make to the parking lot he leads me to a car and opens the door for me "Thank you" I say as I get in he gets in the driver seat.

"You will have to wait and see" he says I smile he returns it "Let's hope the second reaction is as good as the first one" he states with a chuckle as we put our seat belts on and he starts the car.

"Is that a good or bad thing" I ask still smiling he shakes his head. "Let me guess I have to wait and see" I say in a teasing tone he nods I laugh and shake my head he smiles at me before pulling out the parking lot. We drive for about fifteen minutes before pulling up to a huge beautiful house; it was amazing I can't believe I live here. Stefan opens my door for me I get out of the car while he grabbed my bag we walk up to the house and I think my mouth was hanging open the entire time.

"Tough call but I got to say this face was better than the first one" Stefan says with a chuckle, I compose myself before shoving him playfully while giggling. Stefan opens the door before letting me go in first like a gentleman. I look around speechless, and amazed by its beauty. Just then a man with raven black hair with blue eyes who also look somewhat familiar popped out of nowhere causing me to jump back putting my hand over my heart.

"It's about time you got home, I missed you my dear friend" the man says with a smirk on his face. I look at him confused he was either, Tyler, Matt, Elijah, Damon, or Klaus. "Well are you going to stay there and gawk or you going to say something" he asks with an annoyed look. I go to tell him I have no idea who you are when Stefan beats me to the punch.

"Damon" Stefan growls out. "Can I talk to you in private for a moment" Stefan asks. The guy looks at me curiously up and down before rolling his eyes at Stefan and walking to what I guess is the kitchen Stefan following behind him. I tear my eyes off them and start looking around the house. I head upstairs to see four bedrooms I feel a sense of some familiarity in the one room I cautiously walk in I see some girl stuff like make up on the dresser I guess is mine. So this must be my room, I see some guy stuff too; maybe Stefan and I share a room. I walk up to the bed I lay my hand on it I smell Stefan and shampoo that smells like my hair, yup this is definitely are room.

_**Flash back**_

_I was lying on my back with Stefan between my legs we were completely clothed in our pajamas under the covers. Stefan had his hands rubbing up and down my sides his lips attacking my face and neck I was giggling and laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes when Stefan stops and lifts his head to look at me in the eyes we stay there staring at each other so lovingly. Stefan bends down capturing my lips with his it was soft, slow, and passionate he pulls away "I love you" he whispers with a serious face I crack a small smile. _

"_I love you too, Stefan" I whisper back he then kisses me again before flopping down beside me. I lay my head on chest his arm wrapped around me. Stefan lays his head against mind we just lied there taking each other in before slowly falling asleep. _

_**End of flash back**_

I stare at the bed I remembered something. It was a beautiful memory; it made me want to cry like how many precious moments have did I forget. I want to know them all even more now. I felt a presence behind me I knew who it was I turn around to confirm suspicions, Stefan.

"This is our room, is in it" I ask looking at him. He was leaning in the door way with his arms crossed looking at me. He sighs and uncrosses his arms and walks over to me stopping in front of me.

"It is" he confirms "But if you don't want to sleep here or don't want me too I completely understand" he rambles.

"No, I want you to sleep here" I say "With me" I say quietly "I remembered something" I say after a pause he looks at me with curiosity and little relief. I motion to the bed and told his what it was he says nothing but hugs me I return it we just hold each other. I loved being in his arms it felt right it felt safe.

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	5. Ch5 comfortable

_**(A/N)**_

_**Thank you for all those amazing reviews! i love reading them they always brighten up my day(:**_

_**Disclaimer; i do not own anything only my OC if i did own something Klaus and Stefan would be mine!**_

_**Vivian's POV**_

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Stefan and I pull away from the hug. It wasn't awkward it was surprisingly comfortable. "So who was that downstairs" I ask after a short pause.

"Damon" Stefan simply says "My brother and your um…best friend" Stefan explains. Another one, like how many friends did I have I shrug it off. I nod my head in understanding. "Um are you hungry I can make you something or get you something to drink I guarantee you didn't eat the hospital food" Stefan says with a smirk. He knew me so well.

"That would be correct" I say with a slight chuckle "and that would be great, thank you" I say in all seriousness Stefan nods with a smile before kissing my forehead and exiting the room. I sigh and go through the closet and dresser I get myself and outfit before heading into our bathroom and take a long well needed shower.

_**Flash back**_

_Stefan and I we were in the shower together we weren't laughing or joking it was all seriousness. He looked at me with such fascination and wonder. I looked at him full of love and wonder, his hands were cupping my face mine hands were hanging on his arms. Stefan leans down and kisses me I happily kiss back I moan a little. His hands travel from my face down my arms my sides until they reach my rear he picks me up I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He enters me as I moan out his name while he grunts in pleasure._

_**End of flash back**_

I slide down in the shower till I'm sitting at the bottom I bring my legs up and wrap my arms around them and rest my chin on my knees. Well my suspicions are confirmed I am no virgin, but that only leads to more questions like; Is Stefan my one and only? If not who else did I sleep with? And how could I have lost something so valuable and not remember it. I start to cry this is the worst I hate it, I hate myself for not remembering, I hate everything I don't like this I'm scared I don't know who these people are. I only trust Stefan and that is it, and that is only because I have two memories of him its better than none and both of them were special, and this feeling I get when I'm with him. I'm just so lost, and I want to be found more than anything I don't want to do this anymore I want to remember. I don't want to remember flashes I want the whole thing and in order too. I stay on the shower floor weeping softly as I cry it all out.

After I got out the shower and got dressed I start searching the room for the dairy Stefan mentioned yesterday. If I find this dairy it may be the answer to all my prayers like who am I. I checked under the bed, in between the mattresses, the night stands, the bench next to the window, the dressers, the bathroom, the closet. I couldn't find it anywhere I finally look behind the night stand I bump my head on the wall and see a book fall from behind the picture above the bed. Wow did not see that coming I am good at hiding things. I open the book but there was nothing, there was nothing in the book besides to entries and they were the memories I already have. The memory of Stefan tickling me in bed that was the first night I stayed here, the shower was our first shower together. This did not help me in any way I find creepy that I even kept track of me and Stefan in the shower. I finally go downstairs and find my way in the kitchen to find a BLT sandwich on the table with water and a note.

_Vi,_

_Damon and I have some business to take care of and I figured you could use some time to yourself. We'll be back in a few hours. Stay out of trouble, and be safe._

_-Stefan_

I sigh and sit at the table and start eating my meal. I throw the note away and wash the dishes. I dry my hands off when the door bell rang I hesitantly go and answer it. I open the door to a woman with brown hair, light blue eyes; she was wearing a black trench coat and smiling at me showing her pearly whites.

"Hi um can I help you" I say little unsure if I knew this person or not.

"Vivian, I see you don't remember me…I'm Mary your aunt" Mary says smiling I nod my head and open the door wider for her to come in, but she doesn't move she looks at the ground nervously I motion my hand for her to come in she was about to say something when Damon shows up out of nowhere, again. "Damon, nice to see you again, I was just visiting my niece just waiting for her to invite me in" she says sickly sweet. Damon huffs and rolls his eyes.

"Not going to happen" Damon snaps, he walks in the house and slams the door in her face. Damon then turns to me and gives me a closed mouth smile. "You are coming with me" he states.

"Am I now" I say in teasing tone. Damon smiles bigger.

"I see you haven't lost your spunk" Damon teases back I crack a smile at that. Damon grabs my hand and starts dragging me outside, my 'aunt' was no where insight "Come on" Damon urges me he opens the passenger door for me in his mustang I climb in the shuts my door before hoping in the driver seat.

"Okay two questions one where is Stefan and two where you taking me" I ask as I put my seat belt on.

"Okay one we will see Stefan later, two you have to wait and see" Damon says cockily. I roll my eyes.

"Now you sound like Stefan" I say in matter of fact tone. Damon smirks at me before pulling out of the driveway.

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	6. ch6 Anything?

_**(A/N)**_

_**Thank you for everyone's support it means a lot to me!**_

_**Please keep leaving reviews they are motivation(:**_

_**Disclaimer; i own nothing i only own my OC if i could own something it would be Klaus and stefan!(: yum!**_

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Damon and I arrived back at the boarding house, he took me to see my parent's grave. I didn't cry, mostly because Damon threatens me saying if I did he would snap my neck. I came to learn Damon is very snarky, and likes to use humor to disguise what he is really feeling maybe that's why we were friends and got along I understood him. When we got home no one was home so it was me and Damon. Damon went straight to the bar and got himself some bourbon I headed back upstairs to go through some of my things to see if I can remember anything. I spent at least four hours looking through scrapbooks, books, and the closet, anything but I got zip, nothing. I huff and close the last book I was looking through before shoving it back into the book case. I turn around to see Stefan leaning against the door frame I jump a little out of surprise a put my hand over my heart.

"I did it again didn't I" he says with a smile. He unfolds his arms before walking closer until he is right in front of me. I remove my hand from my chest to my side and stand up straighter. "Remember anything else" he asks me with concern and intense stare. I blush hard and avoid his gaze remembering I saw him naked in the shower.

"None that I want to talk about and it wasn't important" I say slowly before stepping around him. I head for the door when he grabs my arm.

"What was it, it's important to me" Stefan states. I sigh before taking a glance at him the looking at the floor again. I remove my hand from his grip.

"I…I saw what we did in the shower" I say lowly and slowly before blushing hard and walking out of the room. I hear Stefan chuckling I roll my eyes it was not funny. It was embarrassing and it hurt knowing I can't remember our first time, my first time. I make my way downstairs to see Damon drinking bourbon and standing in front of the fireplace staring intensely at the fireplace. "You're sulking" I state Damon glances at me and smirks. "What's wrong" I ask taking his glass out of his hand before taking a sip. I was surprisingly used to the taste I must have dranked with him before. I give him his glass back he takes it smiling genially.

"I'm not sulking" he states with a smirk. I give him a pointed look. "Don't look at me like that" he says without even glancing at me I continue to do so anyways. "If you must know this hasn't been good day" I nod my head understanding exactly. "For one you have no memory, and Elena is mad at me…again" he smirks before finishing up the bourbon.

"Well, what did you do" I ask crossing my arms over my chest ignoring the memory comment. "And which one is Elena" I ask curious.

"Olive skin brunette brown eyes my girlfriend" he states like he's bored I roll my eyes. He avoids my other question and walks away. I huff and walk back upstairs to see the room empty and hear the shower running. I roll my eyes again ironically I tell Stefan the memory of the shower so goes and takes one. I go to the closet and dresser and get my pajamas I change quickly I didn't want Stefan seeing me even though technically he already has. I brush my hair and put it in a pony tail and walk back downstairs. I go the kitchen and get a drink of water. I head back upstairs and climb in bad and lay on my side away from the other side so Stefan doesn't see. I was crying again but it worse than I did in the shower earlier. It just sucked I have no memory of my child hood or anything. I hear the bathroom door open I stop sobbing and stay quiet. I feel him dip into the bed and pull the cover over him.

"What's wrong" he asks quietly. I start crying again. I shake my head.

"You'll just laugh again" I state like a child, but I couldn't help it I was just miserable. I hear and feel Stefan shift he grips my arm and pulls me in to his side. He was lying on his back I was on my stomach my head laying on his arm and my arm lay on his chest.

"I'm not going to laugh, I'm sorry about earlier" he says softly "Don't shut me out please tell what's wrong" he says softly he kisses my forehead I close my eyes.

"Everything" I whisper I open my eyes and look everywhere but him. "I hate it, I hate I can't remember any of you, I hate how I have no memory of my parents or my child hood. I hate I can't even remember our first kiss, or our first date or any of it; I can't even remember our first time or my mine for that matter. "I take a deep breath "I can't remember my best friends, I can't remember anything, there's nothing it's just a complete blank. I pretty much tore up this room trying to find anything or to trigger something, but nothing and now I'm just tired and what if I don't get my memories Stefan what am I supposed to do" I ask sitting up and looking at him like a lost puppy. Stefan sits up and pulls me into a hug I hold onto him for dear life not wanting to let go. Stefan eventually pulls away and looks at me still holding on my arms.

"I understand I do I know it sucks because I want you to remember so bad to instead I have all these great memories and you have nothing I question myself and asked if it was all real. I know it is and I want you to remember, but if you can't that's fine okay its okay we can make new memories okay don't put so much pressure on yourself and don't be mad at you or anything because you can't trigger a memory or something just relax and go with it don't worry if it supposed to come back it will okay just make sure you don't shut me out okay I'm always here" Stefan calms me down I nod my head.

"Thank you" I say quietly and I was thankful it was exactly what I wanted to hear. "I'm scared" I whisper Stefan pulls me into another warm embrace "What happens if I fall out of love with you…or you get bored of me cause I'm not the same girl" I ask into his shoulder.

"That will never happen I love you so much" Stefan says so passionate-ly I thought I melt. "If you fall out of love with that's okay but I know that won't happen." Stefan states I nod against him. Stefan than leans back and lays back on his he motions me to lay with him I give him a smile small before putting my head on his chest and cuddling in his chest. Stefan wraps his arms around me tight and secure.

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_**hoped you like it sorry if it has been uneventful i'm trying to move it along...**_


	7. Ch7 I AM A VAMPIRE

_**(A/N)**_

_**So sorry it took me long to update i had a busy Thanksgiving. I hope your guys was as good as mine or even better. I will try to update as much as i can it's just i am behind on school and i need to really crack down on the studies but i hope you like this chapter again sorry for the delay and i will update again as soon as i can. **_

_**Sorry about the cliff hanger in the end most likely next chapter will be all Vivian's memory. **_

**_Disclaimer; again i own nothing i wish i own Stefan and Klaus though!(:_**__

_**Please leave a review or give me any ideas!**_

_**Vivian's POV**_

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The next morning I walk up alone. I didn't mind it gave me time to just lay there and collect my thoughts and the events that took place last night. It felt good to confide in Stefan, and even better when he comfort me. I got up and got dressed, ate and decided to go for a walk. I was about to head out when no other than Stefan stopped me.

"Were you going" he asked softly I shrugged "Can I come with you, you know make sure you don't get lost and stay safe" he asks full of sincere and concern I couldn't turn him down especially with that face. I nod my head before I grabbed my jacket and walked out the door with Stefan in tow. We walk in silence I take the time to observe him he was a navy blue button down shirt with dark blue jeans with pair of black flat boots he had in hands in his pockets and a brooding face on. I could tell he was lost in thought. "Your quiet today" he says in a statement he turns to look at me I merely shrug again. He sighs obviously annoyed.

"I'm sorry" I say quietly "there just really nothing to say" I pause "Look I know I'm not the only one going through things you probably have other things to worry about and I'm just a burden and I frustrate you I get it but I-I I'm just I'm sorry I can't remember it infuriates me too I mean I wake up and I don't know who any of you are and I don't even know who I am" I explain "I'm sorry I know you want us to kiss and make up and walk in the sunset and everything will be fine" I pause "but it's not and if I am somehow different well" we pass a building that reads 'Mystic Falls Grill' I take it to my advantage "sorry to disappoint" I say slowly before turning on my heel and walking into the joint I went straight to the bathrooms. I splash water on my face and just take a look at myself taking short breaths. I exit the bathroom to see Stefan waiting for me I brush past him and take a seat at a nearby booth Stefan sits across from me.

"Vivian listen-"Stefan starts but was caught off by a male with blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes.

"Hey Stefan" he nods to Stefan then to me "Vi" he says "I'm Matt, Matt Donavan" he says I nod my head not in the mood to have another stranger tell me remember when we did this and did that I wanted to be left alone. "Well um so what can I get you guys" he asks with a small smile I order a burger and fries Stefan orders a coke. "Alright I'll be back with you order" Matt says before walking away.

"Thanks Matt" Stefan says before turning back to me "Okay look Vivian listen I'm going to be honest here" Stefan says softly with determination "You are not a burden or any problem but you are right it doesn't settle me that you can't remember and I would love to walk in that sunset but we can't I get that but I will never leave I love you if you can't remember that's fine but I will wait till that end of time Vivian there is no one else I rather be with I know your frustrated but you're not alone okay" Stefan explains I nod giving him a smile he returns it. Matt gives us our food we eat and keep the conversation light. Stefan pays for the bill and we make our way out of the joint Stefan grabs my hand and leads me to the forest.

"Where are we going" I ask following

"come on I want to show you something" Stefan says glancing at me with a grin I nod before following him he interlaces are hands either because he wants too or he just wants to lead either way I don't mind. We walk for about fifteen minutes before he takes me to what I presume is why Mystic Falls is called Mystic Falls. He took me to the famous water fall itself. We sit on a log still holding hands. "I wanted to come here and tell you some stuff about me maybe help bring back some memories, but I have to show you something first" he explains he stands up breaking our hands away from each other. Stefan gets on his knees in front of me taking both of my hands in his I look at him questionably "Please don't be afraid, I would never hurt you or anything I love you and I would do anything to protect you and after I show please let me explain everything" Stefan says

"Stefan what is it your kind of freaking me out here" I say honestly

"You knew about this before the car crash, okay just listen… when I first came to town in the beginning of senior year I dated Elena first she was your best friend, but things got complicated Elena figured it out first on her own she confronted me then she told you, , but you didn't believe her it was the night that Bonnie, Caroline, Elena and you had a sleep over at Elena's you guys did something that you should have left alone Bonnie left you and Elena followed her to the old cemetery and some things happened Damon let the big secret out to you and Bonnie" Stefan explains

"Stefan what is it what does this have to with anything what is this secret why is it so important" I ramble wanting answers.

"Do you trust me" Stefan asks

"Yes" I say without hesitation. Stefan nods before he stands up pulling me with him.

"Don't be afraid" he says again I nod "I'm a vampire" he says a part of me wanted to laugh be he looked so serious it was when I noticed his whites of his eyes turned red veins came out from under his eyes he opened his mouth he had fangs. I wasn't afraid I took my hands and grabbed his face rubbing my thumbs over the veins.

"Beautiful" I whisper I stare into his eyes when I get hit with a vision well in this case a memory.

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**Review please send me some love!(: also give me ideas! **


	8. Ch8 it all comes back in flashes pt1

**_(A/N)_**

**_Sense it took me forever to update i decided to update everyday for a while to say sorry!_**

**_Disclaimer; i own nothing_**

**_this memory begins s1 ep1 i will not do every event just the important ones next chapter will also be memories.!_**

**_Vivian's POV and memories _**

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_Dear Dairy,_

_Today is the first day of senior year and I couldn't be more excited. Caroline can't stop talking about college and how our dorm room is going to be the best, but I don't think I want to go to college I really don't know what I want. Bonnie just laughs and goes along with Caroline I don't blame her Caroline has a temper and can be very persuasive. Elena well she needs it she needs to have the college experience and have fun, she lost her parents a few months ago I try to be there for her the best I can, but that's all I can do…is try. I know what Elena is going through I lost my parents just a lot younger, but it still hurts and time will never heal the pain for losing them. Enough with the bad this year I am going to have a kick ass time with my friends I am going to live life to the fullest._

_Love Vivian_

_I lay my dairy down before turning up the radio on my alarm clock "Rap God" by Eminem was blasting through the speakers. I jump around the room swinging my hips getting ready for school. I turn the radio off when I'm down and head downstairs to see my aunt Mary slaying over the stove trying to make me her 'good luck breakfast' as she called it. I smile at her before clearing my throat making my presents known. She turns around smiles at me._

"_Look at you all dressed up in your cheerleading uniform you look hot" she teases I pose a bit before we laugh it off. She puts our breakfast on plates and we sit down to eat. "So you excited for your first day as a senior and the first cheer practice as co-captain" She asks popping a piece of bacon in her mouth. _

"_Well yeah Care might not be thrilled about sharing the team, but I think everything will work out I have a really good feeling this year" I say with smile. Mary and I clean up the kitchen I fix my pony tell before yelling out a 'goodbye' and rush out the door. I hop into Caroline's car._

"_Hey groupie are you excited, I know I am this year we are going to rule the school" Caroline blabs as she drives us to school I smile and nod as rambles on. Care has to my number one best friend out of our group. Yeah she can be annoying and irritable, but she is always there for you she is loving, caring, and she is not afraid to tell you how it is. Bonnie would be my second, Bonnie is always there for you but can be too quick to judge. Then there is Elena, before her parents died Elena was a wild card, she can play innocent but she can party like no tomorrow, but of course she was still sweet as always. Another thing me and Elena have in common besides dead parents is we don't know what we want. Elena strung Matt along all summer and the year before, but I am just as bad I strung along Jeremy Elena's little brother I thought I loved him, but I guess not. _

_When I first met Jeremy I thought he was just a kid but as I got to know him he was mature and funny and very understanding. He became my best friend but then he made the move he kissed me and I couldn't say no so I decided we owe to each other if we can be more. So last year I stayed with him I gave him everything, first kiss, and my precious gift…my virginity. I don't regret it Jer was perfect, but I didn't love him the night Jeremy's and Elena's parents died I broke up with him and he was heartbroken four hours later his parents are gone. I felt like the worst person in the world, but it was too late to do anything about it. _

"_So I was thinking and I came with a brilliant idea how we can share the squad" Caroline says breaking me away from my thoughts "I think that we should use the cheers from cheer camp we learned this summer and teach the new girls them then we can maybe have a sleep over this weekend and come up with a routine during half time so what do you think" Care asks glancing at me before pulling into the school parking lot. _

"_Sounds perfect Care" I say smiling she smiles back. She parks the car and we exit before walking towards the school I see Jeremy at the stoner pit I go to walk over, but Caroline grabs my arm pulling me back. "What, I can't just not speak to him again I owe him an apology and I need be there for him he's falling apart" I explain giving Caroline my puppy eyes._

"_Oh no don't give me that look and sorry Vi, but Jer has enough going on I know your intentions are good, but you…dumped him and…he's hurt and plus his parents if you go over there your just a walking tease he needs time to himself not you flaunting around being there for him and that gives him hope you guys might get back together and I know for a fact you don't want that" Caroline explains sincerely giving me her puppy eye look I nod my head and she drags me away from the scene and into the school to our lockers. Caroline wonders off probably to go find Elena and see if she's okay. I grab my stuff from my locker before walking past the office and bump into a hard chest. My books and pens drop to the floor._

"_I am so sorry" I say picking up my stuff what I didn't expect was the guy was helping me I look up to thank him when I really noticed him. Broad shoulders, forest green eyes, dirty blonde hair. He was dark blue jeans brown sneakers a leather jacket with a hoodie. "Thanks for helping pick my stuff up" I say stand up and so does he, and goes to handing me my stuff I give him a smile which he returns. "Hi I'm Vivian, and you must be new" I say with smile._

"_Yeah I am" he says his voice was even gorgeous "I'm Stefan" we shake hands. _

"_If you need help with getting around the school just let me know, but I got to go so see you later" I say with small amount on flirtation in there. He smiles a bit bigger showing me he also had perfect teeth. _

"_Yeah that be great um see you later" He slides some shades on before walking into the office I watch him leave. He also had a nice back if you ask me. Bonnie and Elena come over I give them each a hug and ask them about their summer before I hear a familiar voice. _

"_There you are" Caroline says grabbing me before dragging me off to our French class. _


	9. Ch9 it all comes back in flashes pt2

**_(A/N)_**

**_I love the reviews thank you so much for your support i read all of them and they always brighten up my day!_**

**_Here is more flash backs i hope you enjoy sorry if you don't like them but i will continue to write flashbacks all the way till Vivian is finally aloud to know vamps exist i did a little switch of the plot you will find out reading this it is quit interesting..._**

**_Disclaimer; i own nothing! _**

**_Vivian's POV_**

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_The school day went by fast and eventually Caroline dropped me off at home agreeing to meet up at the grill with Bonnie and Elena later. When I got home I got my homework out of the way, then showered and got ready for the grill. A part of me was kind of hoping the new student Stefan Salvatore would be there I made Caroline get some information about him around school and got his last name. I throw on my leather jacket and exit the house and begin my journey to the grill, I left a note for my Aunt she would be home in a few hours from her job at the hospital. The night air was cold and nipped at my skin before I can reach the grill I hear a stick snap in the woods I look over to see nothing when a bunch of fog comes out of nowhere and a crow lands on the Grill's steps I jump back I did not see that coming I shoe away the bird and jog into the grill I spy Bonnie and make my way over._

"_Hey Bon Bon" I say smiling as I sit down across from her she smiles back. _

"_Hey Vi, okay listen like I was telling Elena on the ride to school my grams says that I'm witch and I come from a line of them too, but of course that was after she took a whiskey shot" Bonnie says smiling I laugh a little._

"_Well I think that's pretty cool and you know what I believe you" I say smiling her eyes go wide as she makes a face._

"_Well okay then, you are the first, Elena jokes and I however say put that lady in a home already" Bonnie says giggling I laugh with her. Just then no other than Matt Donovan comes over. _

"_Hey guys, Vi, Bon" he says I smile so does Bonnie "How's Elena doing" he asks our smiles drop. _

"_Matt she just lost her parents how do you think she's doing she just needs time" I explain_

"_Yeah Matt just give her time, any who plus we are not getting in the middle of it" Bonnie adds just than Caroline sits next to Bonnie and Elena walks over with no one other than Stefan. I can't help but feel I don't know ouch. Stefan sits next to me and Elena on the other side I started to actually feel nervous. _

"_Bonnie, Care, and VI this is Stefan, Stefan these are my friends" Elena makes introduction _

"_Hello, and nice to see you again Vivian this time were not running each other over" Stefan teases I smile with a small blush. Caroline notices and I can see jealousy in her eyes man this guy had three of us wrapped around his finger._

"_So you just moved to Mystic Falls" Caroline breaks the ice. _

"_Moved back actually I was born here and moved away when I was young and now I'm back I live with my uncle Zack at the old boarding house" Stefan explains._

"_What about parents" Elena asks _

"_They uh passed away awhile ago" Stefan answers _

"_I'm sorry, um any siblings" This time Bonnie speaks up Stefan gives her a small smile._

"_None that I talk too" he says vaguely _

"_Sense your new you haven't heard of the party" Caroline says excitedly _

"_Party" Stefan repeats as a question_

"_Yeah the school throws a bon fire party at the beginning of each school year" Bonnie elaborates Stefan turns to Elena._

"_Are you going" he asks again I feel the ouch I was happy Elena was getting a distraction from her parents and I would never come between her and Stefan, but I don't mean to sound selfish but I was hoping I could maybe have him I don't know maybe have a distraction myself. _

"_Of course she is" Bonnie chimes in with a big smile on her face_

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_Caroline and I arrive at the party I go to get us drinks when I see Caroline trying to snatch Stefan but he seemed fixated on Elena. I was happy for her I really was but this wasn't the first time a guy chose her over me. I wanted to date Tyler Lockwood but he said no cause he liked Elena, so I moved on to Matt but again he wanted Elena and he got her then Tyler wanted me because he couldn't have what he really wanted so I said no. Jeremy was the only guy and that's only because he was her brother even then she gave us a hard time. But Elena is my friend my best friend and I would never do anything to hurt her, plus I think Stefan already made up his mind as I see him approach Elena and Caroline still in the same spot but with a pout on her face. I walk over and hand her a drink she takes it gratefully and we go to Bonnie and start chatting up her. Half way through the party we hear Elena and Jeremy shouting we see them caring a body who looked like Vicki. We rush over and I dial 911. The police arrived, Jer and Elena goes home while Bonnie took me and Caroline to the grill to get some coffee so we can sober up. _

_We arrive at the grill Bonnie got us coffee we sit down at a table. Caroline starts complaining how her and Elena have competition Elena always get the guys 'ant that the truth' I think bitterly but shake my head of that thought Elena was my friend. _

"_I'm going to wash my face I feel grimy" Caroline complains and walks to the restroom._

"_Yeah okay um I'm going to pay the bill Vi you stay here I'll be back to drive Care home and sense your mom is already probably asleep you can stay at my house" Bonnie explains I nod my head in agreement. Bonnie stands up and leaves when I feel someone is watching me I look up from the table to see a really hot guy. Raven black hair blue eyes leather jacket he just screamed 'bad boy' I smile at him he smiles back and sends a wink my way. Maybe I don't need Stefan after all._

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**_Hoped you like the plot switch up i thought it would make the story more interesting! please leave a review to tell me if you like it so far or not!(:_**


	10. Ch10 it all comes back in flashes pt3

**_(A/N)_**

**_Sorry for the long update i had it on here i just forgot to post it sorry!): i though i did woops! any who here you go!_**

**_Disclaimer i own nothing _**

**_Vivian's POV/flash backs_**

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_After having eye sex with the blue eyed stranger Bonnie and I dropped Caroline off at her house. Bonnie and I went to her house and old fashion sleep over. The next morning we go to school Bonnie and Elena have a lovely conversation about Stefan Salvatore while I went to go find Matt. Which wasn't hard to do he was standing beside his locker sulking in pity staring at Elena like a lost puppy I felt bad for him, but there was nothing I can do for him besides be there. _

"_Hey Matt" I greet him with a small smile he returns it with and even smaller smile. _

"_Hey Vi" he greets back_

"_How's Vicky" I ask with sincere _

"_Well she lost a good bit of blood, but the doctors said she's going to all right, I think she just needs rest last night she muttered being a attacked by a 'vampire'" Matt explains with a small chuckle at the end. I give him a little giggle._

"_Well besides the vampire business I'm glad she's doing better" I say Matt nods I walk away to meet with Caroline and head to class._

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_After school instead of going to the grill Bonnie, Caroline, Elena, and I go to a café across the street. We grab a table outside and order some coffee._

"_I visited my grams this morning and she gave this old book she says it's a Grimoire a witch's spell book, and I think I'm starting to believe it" Bonnie says sipping her coffee._

"_Well since you're a witch can conjure up the hot stranger's number from last night" I make a small joke and half serious._

"_I didn't see him" Bonnie explains._

"_What hottie" Caroline asks_

"_Some guy I saw at the grill last night we pretty much had eye sex" I explain with a chuckle._

"_Speaking of sex Elena what's holding you back on Stefan I mean come on jump his bones already" Caroline explains "I mean boy likes girl, girl likes boy which equals sex" Caroline says _

"_I don't know you guys" Elena mumbles _

"_Come on Elena" Caroline encourages Elena nods grabbing her coat_

"_Where you going" Bonnie asks _

"_Caroline is right I'm going to go pay Stefan a visit" She says with a wink before walking away._

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_After the café I go home and shower and do my homework I clean up the house a little bit sense my Aunt is hardly ever home and hardly has time to do anything else. I finish changing my bed sheets when I get a text from Bonnie._

'_Grill?' _

_I text her back 'Yup'_

_I grab my jacket and phone and leave a note on the table before walking out of the house and make my way to the grill. On my way there I caught through the park I feel someone's eyes on me and turn to look and there he was. The stranger with the raven black hair and beautiful blue eyes he was smirking at me. I blink and then he wasn't there anymore I blink a few more times and look around and there was trace of him anywhere. I shrug it off trying not to over think about it and finish my walk to the grill. I get to the grill and start having a nice chat with Bonnie then Tyler, Caroline, and Elena joins us. _

"_Hey have any of you guys seen Vicky" Jeremy asks filled with worry. _

"_You tell us you're her stalker" Tyler sneers I push him gently letting a small giggle escape my lips Tyler looks at me with a smile. Elena cuts us a look and our smalls drop. "Dude stop following her like a lost puppy she will never go for you" Tyler snaps._

"_Oh yeah dick well she did over and over again" Jeremy taunts Tyler goes to stand up but I shove him back down._

"_I'm sorry you and Vicky I mean Vicky Donavan screwing you" Caroline says with a snarky tone._

"_Yeah right" Tyler adds "Why don't you go sell some more, dealer" Tyler snaps next thing Matt comes over to the conversation_

"_What does he mean by dealing Jer" Elena asks with a disappointment look. Jeremy goes to snap back when Matt comes in. _

"_Guys can we not do this now and can we please go find my sister" Matt asks desperately everyone nods and start to spread out. "I'm going to check the square" Matt explains _

"_I'll come with you" Jeremy cuts in but Elena holds him back. _

"_No we are going home" Elena snaps her Jeremy leave the grill. Bonnie checks the restroom, Tyler checks out the valleys. Matt checks the square, Caroline and I walk up and down the street. After we found Vicky everyone went home._

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_Dear Dairy, _

_The last few days have been hectic. Today is the night of the comet. I think I'm finally over my small crush I had on Stefan, Elena seems to be happier so that's good. Caroline started to have feelings for Matt, but Matt is still hung up on Elena. It's funny how everything comes down to Elena, but she's my friend if she's happy than I'm happy for her. _

_After I write in my dairy I shower and eat breakfast and head over to Caroline's. We go to school where I had a brief conversation with Stefan pretty much I ran into him again we laugh off ask how each other are doing before we go our separate ways. I think my crush is back I got a fluttery feeling inside when he looked at me I brush it off though he was with Elena. After school Elena, Caroline, Bonnie, and I hand out flyers for the comet. We go to the comet sighting at the town square I stay with Caroline the entire time. After the comet was over I walk home when I blue mustang pulls up. It was the stranger from the grill. _

"_Hey do you need a ride home or something" The guy asks I look at him he looked compelling I couldn't sat no I nod my head and hop in the car. "I'm Damon, Damon Salvatore" He says with a smirk I smile at him. _

"_Vivian, Vivian Marshal" I say I give him my address and he takes me home. We chat in the car and he walks me to my door. _

"_Aren't you going to invite me in" Damon asks looking straight in my eyes. _

"_My Aunt won't be home to wee hours in the morning would you like to come in" I open the door wide enough for him to come in with a smile. _

"_I would love to" he says with smirk he steps over the archway. We end up in my room just talking when he kissed me hard on the lips I strip him of his shirt he does the same with me our pants come off he lays me down on the bed and rocks my world. After our high comes down he kisses from my belly button to my check when he pulls back he had red eyes with veins underneath and fangs he comes down hard biting my neck I scream. _


	11. Ch11 it all comes back in flashes pt4

**_(A/N)_**

**_Sorry more Vi and Damon but it will be over soon promise! _**

**_Disclaimer; i own nothing!_**

**_Vivian's POV/flashbacks_**

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_I keep my eyes closed afraid to open them. I go over the events that took place last night and can't help but be mad at myself. Why would I jump into a stranger's car? Why would I invite him in when I just met him? Then I slept with him? That so does not sound like me, yet I did it anyways. Sadly not only have I slept with a stranger I slept with a monster. I open my eyes and sit up I look over to see Damon asleep. I gently touch my neck and feel the dry blood I shudder. I quietly and steadily drag myself out of bed and make my way to the door taking glances at Damon to make sure he is still asleep. I grab the handle to the door to find out it's locked I look back at Damon to see the bed completely empty. I turn around fully to see Damon right there I jump back against the door. _

"_Hey Vi, good morning" Damon says with a smirk. _

"_What are you, what do you want with me" I ask shakily _

"_What no good morning" Damon snarls and rolls his eyes "as for what I am you already know and as for what I want, I want you Vivian Marshal isn't that what you wanted well except you wanted this with Stefan, but I'll let you know a little secret I'm better" Damon says cockily smirking. _

"_Please just don't hurt me okay just please just leave I won't tell anyone I promise just leave me alone" I beg I was scared out my mind and I certainly don't want to be his chew toy. _

"_Vivian just calm down" Damon snaps and turns around to walk away I run to my bed side pick up the lamp and throw it at him. Damon turns around and catches it and smirks "Nice throw" He says smirking he starts to charge at me I got to grab something anything I throw a pillow but with my luck it was the one with my dry blood. Damon catches it before grabbing and biting me again._

* * *

_After Damon bit me he compelled me to wear a scarf and to never say a word to anyone. Right now we were on our way to the school he is dropping me off at cheer practice sense I missed school this morning from the earlier events. I have to admit I was scared of Damon, but for some reason I think he is only doing what he does is to piss someone off and I think its Stefan. I hate to burst his bubble but I doubt Stefan would care he barely gives me the time of day. Damon also compelled me to act normal and compelled me to be in love with him, but something was blocking the last one because I know that I don't love him. Damon parked in the school parking lot. I don't love him, but my actions say otherwise I lean of over and kiss him hard and deep on the lips. _

"_Are picking me up afterwards" I ask _

"_Of course my little flower" Damon says smirking_

"_Okay love you" I say and get of the car. For some reason the compelling was hitting me hard I walk over to the other cheer leaders and pass Elena._

"_I got the other brother hope you don't mind" I say a little snobby I wanted to kick myself but I couldn't help it. Cheer practice went by fast Caroline couldn't stop complaining how Elena couldn't seem to get it right and suggested Elena sit this one out. Damon picked me up from practice drove me home had sex with me and fed off me again then went home to irritate his brother. I took a long hot shower scrubbing myself from Damon. After that I relax and try to forget about everything, but that didn't last. Damon climbed in through my window with a cake in his hand. _

"_Get up, get dressed we are going to a dinner tonight" Damon exclaims "Elena, Stefan, and your little witch friend are all at Elena's so chop, chop we are going to crash" Damon explain he goes in my closet and lays an outfit on my bed I change into it not forgetting the scarf._

* * *

_The drive to Elena's was quiet I was shaking on the inside. I was nervous I was scared of what Damon would do. He claims there will be no trouble, but I don't trust him. We arrive Damon hands me the cake and re-insures me everything will be fine. Damon knocks on the door to be greeted by Elena and Stefan right behind her I felt pang of jealously but shove it down and smile bright why not use Damon to my advantage. _

"_Bonnie said you were having dinner so we thought we'd stop by we brought desert" I say sweetly _

"_Oh sure yeah come on-"Elena begins to say when Stefan caught her off. _

"_No, no, no he can't stay plus we were just finishing up" Stefan explains quickly. Maybe this was the insecurity saying this but was Stefan scared of his brother too or he doesn't want me here he shooting me brooding looks making me uncomfortable. _

"_No it's okay" Elena says giving Stefan a small smile "Come on in" She says Damon walks through shooting Stefan a taunting look. I give Elena a side hug before taking the cake to the kitchen._

* * *

_After eating cake Elena made us all coffee and we all decided to relax in the living room Stefan and Elena on the love seat Bonnie sitting on the arm of the couch next to Elena. I was sitting on Damon's lap much to my dismay, but Damon tugged me down and held me sturdy. _

"_Um Stefan I heard you made the football team congratulations I bet Tyler's fuming" I say breaking the tension in the room. Stefan and Elena send me smiles. _

"_Thank you" Stefan says I nod and send him a sweet smile. _

"_That's what I tell him you can't sit around waiting for life to come to you, you have to go and get it" Damon says with smirk._

"_Hey Elena sorry Caroline got to you today if you want I can help you with cheers" I say she gives me a thankful smile._

"_Yeah me too" Bonnie says_

"_You know Elena you don't look much of a cheerleader" Damon states_

"_Cause she's been through a tough time" I explain Elena starts to feel uncomfortable and start collecting dishes Damon follows her soon Bonnie follows. Leaving Stefan and me alone, I was a little excited, but he just interrogated me about a scarf then I helped with dishes and Damon and I left only to repeat the usual. Maybe Stefan will help me if I talk to him there has to be lope whole to compulsion and I need to get away from Damon._


	12. Ch12 it all comes back in flashes pt5

**_(A/N)_**

**_Thank you for all of the reviews and support! I love you guys!(:_**

**_Disclaimer; i own nothing_**

**_Vivian's POV_**

* * *

_I woke up the next morning stiff as a board. I thank the heavens that I finally woke up alone. I slowly get out of bed to see I'm only in my undergarments I sigh I can't wait for this nightmare to end. I go over to my stand up my mirror and look over my body. The bite marks were everywhere not just my neck I run my hand over them I flinched a little they were fresh from last night. I turn around to go to my closet to only jump back to see Damon lying on my bed reading a twilight book. _

"_What's so special about this Bella girl" Damon asks no one in particular I sigh in relief he was in a good mood. _

"_You have to read the first book to understand" I explain rummaging through my closet._

"_Elaborate" Damon asks I fight the urge to roll my eyes_

"_Well her blood calls to Edward, but he loves her so much that he would never hurt her plus she is the only person with a mind that he can't read" I explain slipping on a yellow dress_

"_This Edward guy is so whipped" Damon says dramatically I actually giggle at his antics Damon sends a smile my way while putting the book down. Damon could be a perfect guy and really sweet I would totally go for him if he didn't use me as a blood bag or sleep with me when I'm unwillingly it's not that he hurts me or holds me down he just compels me to want it and I can't say that don't because I'm compelled I just wish he was less controlling if he was then I would have maybe fell for him but after everything I don't and can't picture being with him willingly not anymore. "If I'm going to be your date you are not wearing yellow" Damon comments I sigh._

"_Damon I like you…as a friend and all and I get it you are using me because you're bored, but I cannot bring you as my date too many adult prying eyes around and if you haven't noticed you have a body of a twenty four year old I'm only seventeen and even vampire years your older than me like hundred forty two or something" I try to explain _

"_Aw thanks I like you too you know I'm surprised how well your taking everything" Damon says with a smirk._

"_I'm not taking anything I'm dealing" I mumble I slide out of the yellow dress and try on the blue one. _

"_Please take me" Damon asks in a kid voice giving me a pouty face he wasn't compelling me or anything I just couldn't say no to his face._

"_Fine you can go just behaves" I say he smiles "So what about the blue it matches you eyes" I say modeling in the mirror I look over at Damon he grabs me by the hips and throws me on the bed and hovers over me I giggle Damon smiles and starts kissing my neck. _

"_I think you look beautiful" Damon mumbles kissing my exposed shoulder. _

"_You know you can be sweet when you want to be" I say breathlessly _

"_I know" Damon smirks I look deep into his eyes_

"_Are you going to kill me" I ask dreading the answer _

"_No" Damon says seriously _

"_Why not" I ask truly curious now_

"_I like you I can talk to you without compelling you or anything and you listen so but that doesn't me if you do something wrong I won't kill you because I will" Damon says sternly I give him a small smile and kiss him which he happily returns. I might as well enjoy the moment because once I see Stefan I'm ratting Damon out and hopefully Stefan will come to my rescue._

* * *

_Damon left an hour ago to get ready for the founders party. I ended up wearing a blue dress with a blue cardigan and a scarf to make sure the bite marks weren't visible. Once I find Stefan I have to drop a hint or give him something I know Stefan will help Damon sure complains about "Saint Stefan" I just have to think outside of the compulsion there is a loop whole to everything. When I finished getting ready Damon picked me up and we made our way to the Lockwood mansion. Carol Lockwood greeted us at the door and of course she had to say the magic words "Come in" Damon smirked and stepped in happy with himself. We make our way in, and Damon compels me to get to Stefan away from Elena but this time his compulsion will be working for my on favor. We make our way to the back room. _

"_The original Salvatore brothers" Damon interrupts their conversation "They were murdered in cold blood" Damon starts_

"_We don't need the bore them with details of the past Damon" Stefan says _

"_It's not boring Stefan I would love to know more about your family" Elena says smiling at Stefan just then the compulsion kicks in._

"_It's just a tad boring" I say giving a small smile "Hey Elena do mind if I borrow Stefan for a dance Damon claims he has two left feet" I say smoothly _

"_Oh I don't dance" Stefan dismisses_

"_Oh I don't believe that" I say joking a little _

"_Your right Stefan can do it all even the gitter bug" Damon says with a smug smile_

"_It's up to Stefan" Elena adds stealing a glance with Stefan _

"_Well I'm not taking no for an answer" I say grabbing Stefan hand and dragging him to the dance floor. We start dancing and I couldn't help but melt I loved his hands on my waist and mine wrapped around his neck we staring intently into each other's eyes. "Stefan I need you help" I whisper Stefan gives me a questioning look "But I can't say exactly" I try to explain_

"_Damon" Stefan says I nod my head "is he hurting you" he asks I glance down to my scarf Stefan hesitantly lifts his hands and unties it I try not to shiver under his touch he undoes the scarf to see the bite Stefan grimaces before redoing the scarf "I got a plan" Stefan states he bring me to the wine table and pours some liquid in the one glass and hands it to me "Drink it, it has a herb called Vervain in it, its toxic to us I already tried spiking Damon's drink but it didn't work so if I spike yours and it's in your system the next time he feeds it will put him down got it" Stefan explains I nod and drink the wine. I knew Stefan would save me. _


	13. Ch13 i know everything

_**(A/N)**_

_**I decided to not pause this story I just came up with some things this story only has four chapters left anyway I also did something there will not be a sequel I can barely get through this one so I'm sorry **_

_**I hope you like it I will not do all the flashbacks I'm pretty sure you watched vampire dairies just add in Vivian and some romantic scenes between her and stefan **_

_**Disclaimer; I own nothing besides my OC(s)**_

_**Vivian's POV**_

"You saved me" I say in a whisper I was memorized I finally got a decent enough memory to know who these people are. I am just not going to go near Damon anytime soon. So that's how I found about vampires and who Stefan really is, but one question still haunts me how did we get together and how did Elena and him break up?

"You remember" Stefan states in awe he pulls me in his arms I wrap mine around his neck nuzzle in I had a crush on him sense day one and it seemed I kept falling harder and that's how I am in love with him. Even though he is a monster a vampire I still fell hard for him knowing what I know.

"Not everything I remember the start of the school year how we met I remember all the way until you spiked my drink with vervain" I say as I rest my chin on his shoulder absorbing his warmth. "Stefan" I ask in a hesitant tone I here an "m" come from him "Why aren't you with Elena" I ask he pulls away keeping his hands on my waist "I only ask because I'm not the type of person who would still my best friends boyfriend or ex boyfriend it's bad enough I had feelings for you" I explain hoping he will understand and explain it to me.

"It's complicated that's for sure" he says with a tight smile I give him a pleading look.

"Tell me" I say Stefan nods and sits down I sit down next to him keeping my gaze on the falls.

"It was a few months after the founder's day party the one where I spiked your drink. I was what they call a ripper when I turn off my humanity I would tear people apart draining their blood that's why I switched to the animal diet when I switched back on I couldn't handle a single drop of human blood. Until Klaus he is an original vampire first of our kind he made a deal with me he made me drink human blood becoming the ripper of Monterey again I started pushing Elena away and her and Damon got closer, but I didn't mind surprisingly I somehow made myself keep in contact with you, you would stay awake with me into the wee hours in the morning on the phone and keep telling me everything was going to be okay, you were my best friend you made sure my switch stayed on….when I came back to Mystic Falls I didn't go see Elena I went and saw you nothing happened we just talked and that's when I realized I didn't need Elena I wasn't in love with her anymore, but I didn't end things I felt too guilty, so I stayed and I thought maybe I could fall back in love, so I fought for her, but then I realized it wasn't anything worth to fight so I ended things the same night she moved into the boarding house because Jeremy became a vampire hunter and couldn't control himself after Elena was turned I left them alone knowing what would happen but I didn't care I went to your house we discovered Elena was sired and other things happened I uh took your virginity and I told you I was in love with you and you said back

But you couldn't be with me until Elena was fixed and was okay with us together you couldn't hurt her like that Elena turned off her emotions when Jeremy died but of course he back now from the spelled ring, but she turned into a bitch when that happened Elena almost killed you twice and you finally decided you didn't care if Elena saw us together so we came out to everyone Elena didn't even flinch until you came up with an idea you out on Jeremy's ring and Damon snapped you neck right in front of her and she turned her emotions back on but Elena wouldn't speak to you she was mad that you were with me, so you broke up with me and Elena thought she could chose between Damon and me but I didn't want to be with her Elena finally chose and she chose Damon and told me she hopes I live a happy life with you and to never speak to her again. Damon and Elena are still together but she never talked to you and me ever sense" Stefan explains I take everything in.

"Do you still want to be with me" I ask with tears in my eyes all my memories were flooding back and I realized how much I really love Stefan he was it for me.

"Yes" Stefan says without hesitation I lean over and kiss him are lips mold together we were kissing with full passion and love and frantic I wanted him I missed him so damn much I had my life back I had Stefan back.

"I love you" he says I smile

"I love you so much more" I whisper Stefan smiles and kiss me again.

Things couldn't get any better.

Stefan and I finally get home and announce the news my memory was back.

Damon my drinking buddy, he was there for me and showed me a different side of him then when first met.

Jeremy he was a little brother to me I would gladly die for him and I know he would do the same.

Caroline my best friend sense day one the person who encouraged me to take chances and don't care what other people think.

Bonnie even though we have a rocky friendship I know when he comes down to it she will be there.

Tyler even though things are kind of awkward he still a friend.

Matt even though I want to rip his hair out sometimes for being too nice I love him like a brother.

Katherine a psycho woman who tried to steal my boyfriend too many times she was still honest and cared in her own way and she got things done

Elena my ex best friend who I was there for all the time even though I envied her she was always there for me and if she still wanted to be my friend I would in a heartbeat and I don't blame Stefan for our torn friendship I did the right thing.

And

Stefan, my everything, my hero, my friend, my lover he is just perfect….

***Alert* some of you may not caught on yet but just think about this…why is Mary Vivian's mother in the real world her aunt in Vampire Dairies? Think about it and let me know what you think.**


	14. Ch14 i love you

_**(A/N)**_

_**This is to apologize for not doing all the flash backs also it shows you how close Vivian and Stefan are. I did not write one word of this chapter my beta for my other story "Wonderland" did this for me I hope you like it and please check out "swim. t0. th 3.s3a" swim's stories are amazing and if you want send swim some love and thank yous for giving you this chapter. (:**_

_**Disclaimer I own nothing**_

_**Vivian's POV**_

* * *

I remembered everything. Stefan and everyone are so excited to have me back to the way that I was before. Not that I was gone, but I didn't know what was going on around me. I wanted to give Stefan a surprise for being so good to me. He stuck right by my side the whole time I was trying to remember who I was. It must have been hard on him, not being able to do the things that we use to.

I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't look like myself with the skimpy outfit and the red high heels. I took a deep breath when I heard Stefan call out my name from downstairs. I don't know why I was so nervous. It's not like we haven't done with before. I shook out of my thoughts and looked down at my phone. I picked it up and sent Stefan a message.

'Come find me ;) –V' I pushed send and got into the position that I wanted. I grabbed the silky robe that was next to the sink and slipped it over my shoulders. I wrapped it around myself and tied a loose knot in the middle.

I heard my door open and I shook out my thoughts. "Vivian?" I heard my name being called from the other side of the door and I let out a shaky breath.

I opened the bathroom door and Stefan turned around and looked at me up and down with his eyes wide open. "What?" He tried to ask but I pulled the robe off my shoulders.

I glanced down at the white and red lacy underwear and looked back up at Stefan to see his golden green eyes turn into a mucky brown, dark with lust.

I stepped closer to him and smirked sexually. "I wanted to thank you." I grabbed his hand and lead him over to the bed. "You've been through everything with me, and I want to repay you for everything that you've done." I pushed him gently on the bed and straddled his lap. I put my hands on his shoulders and leaned in to kiss him. His warm lips brushed against mine but I skidded his mouth and leaned down to kiss his neck. I heard his breath quicken and I smirked against his neck, knowing that what I'm doing was doing the trick.

I heard the growl crawl up his throat before he flipped us over and laid on top of me. I could feel how much he wanted me against my leg. I smirked and leaned up to kiss him. It started off slow and passionate, but I quickly flipped us back over so that I was on top again and deepened the kiss. I sighed when I tasted what his lips allowed. I felt his tongue rub against my lower lip, asking for entrance. I allowed him to explore my mouth. He moaned when I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled gently on the dark golden locks. I could feel his hands roaming my body, starting from my waist and going all the way down to my knees and back up. I groaned against his lips when I felt him squeeze my ass.

I giggled when he flipped us over again. He sent me a snarky look before kissing my neck and going further down. I moaned softly when he rubbed my thighs while kissing between my breasts. He lifted me gently before flicking my bra off and pulling it off my shoulders, along with my robe that I still had on. He looked down at me for a little while and I blushed. He kissed each of my cheeks before leaning to whisper in my ear.

"Beautiful." He whispered and went back to working on my breasts. His hand was covering my right while he licked and sucked on the other. I moaned and moved my hips up against his hips and he hissed from the pleasure of feeling our body moved together. I squirmed under him when I felt his tongue flick against my nipple. He looked up at me, not moving his mouth from my chest, under those dark lashes and smirked. I glared down at him playfully before flipping us over again.

I quickly got started with taking his shirt off and he watched my every move. I moved down, making sure to rub against his crotch before kissing my way down to his navel. He growled when I lightly bit down on his chest and I smirked again. I did the same thing again and he flipped us around. He pinned down my arms before kissing me heavily. I loved the taste of him. I ground my hips into his to try and make some friction between us and he moaned loudly. His hand made its way down to my thighs before he started massaging them gently. He moved his hand more over to my core and I gasped. He took that time to kiss me deeply and explore my mouth. I felt his thumb gently rub me from outside of my panties. I groaned at the softness of his touch.

He moved back down to my neck as his fingers kept up the rhythm. I moved my hips against his hand and he smirked down at me. I glared up at him and he kissed my nose before getting back to business. I felt him move my panties out of the way a little before he started playing with my bare clit. I groaned at the touch of his cool fingers against my warm center. He moved down slowly, pulling his hand away. I whined at the loss of touch but he kissed me to shut me up. He started kissing right above where my panties were and grabbed them with his teeth. I giggled when he finished pulling them down all the way with his mouth. He smiled up at me before starting on my wet core.

He starting playing with my clit again with those magical fingers before he started kissing his way down. His tongue shot out and licked up and down. He slid one finger inside me and started pumping. I moaned and rubbed my hips against his face. I could feel everything that he was doing, all the feelings almost setting me off the edge. I moaned when he stuck another finger inside. He started pumping fast and licking faster. I could feel the pressure building its way up my stomach before it finally made its way out. I could feel myself close around Stefan's fingers and I moaned out his name. I felt him leave a kiss on my pelvis before looking up at me. I pulled him up so that I could kiss him. I could taste myself on his lips and moaned.

I grabbed his dick in my hand and started pumping up and down, teasing him a little. He groaned and leaned his head against my shoulder and neck. I kept going until I had enough. I wanted him inside me and I wanted him now. I turned my head over so that my mouth was to his ear and whispered. "I want you inside me."

He looked up and kissed me deeply before angling himself to my entrance. I could feel him pulsing at my hot core and I groaned in his ear. He looked deep into my eyes. "I love you."

I leaned up and kissed him gently. "I love you too."

With that said he pushed deep into me and I gasped when I felt him. We both stopped for a second, letting me adjust, before I moved my hips, letting him know I was ready. He slid in and out carefully and slowly before picking up the speed. I ran my hands up and down his back gently scratching him and I could feel him leaving marks all over my neck and shoulders. I could feel the pressure building up again and I started breathing heavily. I noticed Stefan start doing the same thing. "With me baby." He let out during breaths and I sighed against his shoulder, where my mouth was.

I felt myself get tighter around Stefan and I sighed his name. He groaned and started going faster and harder. He was hitting just the right spot and I came over the edge faster than I thought I would. I could feel him starting to let go and I sighed when we both relaxed. I giggled when he laid against my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair and smiled up at the ceiling.

It was good to be back.


	15. Ch15 How could you

_**(A/N)**_

_**Thank you for all of your reviews, thank you followers, and those who Favorited it means a lot!**_

_**Next chapter will be exciting and will put most of your questions to rest like;**_

_**Is Mary the aunt or the mother?**_

_**When will Vivian return to the real world?**_

_**Will meet Vivian's dad? **_

_**Will Vivian make the atomic sacrifice?**_

_**Well find out in next chapter! (:**_

_**I hope you like this one**_

_**Disclaimer; i own nothing, but my OC and the plot! **_

* * *

_**Vivian's POV**_

Sense I got my memories back it seemed everything went back to normal and I couldn't be happier. The one thing that keeps bothering me is Elena. I understand why she dislikes me I mean I am dating her ex epic love. It's just I don't know why she is so mad she through our whole friendship away I mean her and Stefan grew apart with Stefan being all ripper and cruel, and it's not my fault Stefan came to me, he called me for help I couldn't turn away he was my friend. Plus she grew feelings for Damon she even kissed Damon behind his back and had the right to go on and on how amazing it was to me of all people. All these thought were running through my head as I lie awake staring at the ceiling my arms draped over Stefan's as his laid over my stomach lazily as he was still fast asleep I just wish Elena would let it go I mean she's with Damon now what more could she want I apologized and tried talking it out with her, but she never wants to hear me out. I let out a deep sigh this was frustrating and too complicated. I turn my head to see Stefan peacefully sleeping he looked so cute. Wow I never thought I could love someone so much it's just like that saying.

"You almost feel ashamed that someone can be that important, that without them you feel like nothing"

Well I guess it's not much of a saying, but it's true, it's crazy how much I feel for Stefan. I think Stefan is still shocked that I haven't ran knowing I saw him at his worst. To be honest seeing him with no humanity did scare me, but not enough to run. I could never leave him when he needs me the most. I take my hand and brush it through Stefan's hair watching has my hand glides through the pieces fall back in place. I scoot down so I'm eye level to him and turn on my side to face and scoot closer until our noses are about touching. Last night was amazing it felt good to be with him again I missed his touch even if it was for a week or so. This had me thinking what happens if I get hurt again and lose these precious memories forever, or what happens when I grow old and Stefan stays the same and I die or die before old age where does that leave Stefan? I was never against vampires only the ones that act like Damon, but Stefan showed me that they don't have to be monsters. If I become a vampire I can be like Stefan and I know Stefan will be there for me I just hope the universe gives me some time to fully think this through.

"Good morning beautiful" Stefan whispers I was so lost in thought I didn't notice he was awake looking at me. "What were you thinking about" he asks looking at me so deeply.

"Stefan if I ever became like you, would you be willing to um be with me forever" I ask in a whisper Stefan looked taken back by the question but recovered quickly.

"Honestly yes I would, but it's your decision and I'm going to love you whether you're human or not your it for me Vi, where is this coming from" Stefan asks.

"Well after almost losing my memories it made me think about the future and how I want you in it, but I think I just need time to see what I really want" I explain Stefan nods accepting my answer. "Can I ask you a question" he nods "How come we never blood shared" I ask Stefan looks shocked "I mean isn't like really intimate for a vampire plus you've been on blood bags for a while along with animal I don't see why not try it" I explain

"Vi I don't want to use you as blood bag and I don't want to hurt you" Stefan says

"You won't I know you won't and you aren't I want this at least try it once" I give him my puppy dog eyes the only reason I was asking was for two reasons Caroline said blood sharing is pleasurable sometimes more than sex, also it was a way of tricking Stefan to give me his blood because I am selfish I don't want to die or have the memory lost situation happen again. Stefan looked hesitant, but I know he couldn't say no. I discovered this at the 60s dance when Klaus took over Alaric's body I begged Stefan to show me how he dance during that time as soon as I whipped out the puppy eyes he was putty in my hands.

"Once" Stefan says sternly I nod giving him a victory smile. I lean over and kiss him deeply on the lips he lets out a low moan and start to shift us so he on top hovering over me I put hands around his neck bringing him closer. Stefan breaks the kiss to let me breathe and starts trailing kisses from my jaw line, to my neck, to my shoulder back to my neck leaving hot wet trailed kisses. I feel his fangs graze my skin before they sank into my neck. It was a slight sting, but it went as quickly as it came. It started to feel amazing; it was like my whole body was on fire making me calm and vulnerable. Stefan retracts his fangs and licks over the two piercing wholes. He thank gives me a quick peck. I push on his shoulders flipping us over so I was straddling him. Stefan reaches over to the night stand and grabs a nail filer and looks at me as he cuts a small wound on his neck and sets down the nail filer and puts both hands on my waist I lean down giving him a kiss on the cheek then put my mother over the wound I lick it then begin to suck on it. The blood tasted well like blood, but only sweeter and more tolerable. I noticed it was special and pleasurable for Stefan too as he lets out low soft moans like I did. I pull away and watch as the wound heal quickly I give Stefan one last kiss on the lips.

Stefan and I showered and got dressed for today, apparently sense I know memories for the last couple of days I missed a lot.

1 Damon ended things with Elena, because apparently he felt as if he didn't deserve her. Damon was an Augustine vampire and left his friend behind to die to escape Elena stuck up for him and Damon felt as if he didn't deserve it.

2 Enzo, Damon's old buddy in the Augustine program has taken Elena under his wing both with their humanity switches off

3 Caroline and Damon took down Enzo, but Elena is still a wild card.

I heavily sigh at all the things I missed, plus Damon was like the old Damon again he is upset about Elena, but it's his fault he let her go I mean he claims he doesn't want to be selfish with her yet he's being selfish with her by leading her on and dumping her making heartbroken like she doesn't have enough to deal with.

I was currently in Stefan and I's bathroom Stefan, Damon, Bonnie, Jeremy, and Caroline were all downstairs. I was washing my face hoping it would wash all the worries too, but I guess I wasn't that lucky. I lift my head up to grab a towel only to see Elena behind me. I whip around and put a hand over my chest.

"Elena you scared me" I say I grab the towel and dry my face. Elena looks at me emotionless and cocks her head to the side and slowly begins to smirk.

"You know Vi I forgive you for being with Stefan, I'm just no okay with Stefan being with you" Elena says she sounded just like Katherine but I knew this was Elena, Katherine died shortly after taking the cure and her 500 hundred plus years caught up to her she died of old age. "I heard your little conversation with Stefan earlier spending eternity together, but how can you spend forever together if there's no Vivian. You wanted to blood sharing Stefan would never do that he's too what can you call it I guess you could say moral" Elena says snarky I realized she didn't know about the vampire blood in my system I start to panic "Hear that your heart pounding like a machine gun it's like music to my ears" Elena says she grips the side of my head with her hands "Do me a favor Vi say hello to my parents, aunt Jenna, and to your mom and dad for me" she says and swiftly snapping my neck and everything goes black.


	16. Ch16 This is my reality

_**(A/N)**_

_**Thank you for all your support I love you guys! (:**_

_**Also sorry if this is sad, and sorry if the next chapter is sad too…but don't worry it might get better**_

_**Disclaimer I own nothing!**_

_**Vivian's POV**_

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"_You're the face that I see and the last thing I think about"_

Everything was black I could hear a distance of a machine beeping….this was all too familiar. I could feel the light fabric wrapped around my body…the hospital gown. I can feel the stiff plastic mattress underneath me…the hospital bed. I breathe in a smell that's a mix of cheap air freshener, a mixture of different medications, and soap…the hospital room. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to open them only to blink multiply times from the harsh bright light. Back to square one, was that life all a dream?

_Stefan_

Stefan, oh my god! Elena, I wonder what Stefan's doing right now he must be worried sick. Wait why would Elena bring me to a hospital after brutally snapping my neck like a twig? Did Stefan or the others bring me here? Did they not know I was dead…oh my god I was dead. I finally open my eyes and look around yup I was definitely in a hospital…but not the hospital I was in last time. Then that's when it hit me… the car crash, the wish on the eclipse I was dreaming…my face felt wet I was crying.

"_You're the reason that I'm alive your what I can't live without_

_What I can't live without. You never give up when I'm falling apart_

_Your arms always open wide and your quick to forgive when I make a_

_Mistake you love me in a blink of an eye"_

If that was all a dream I-I can't, no, it had to be real I felt everything, the pain, the sad, the happiness, I felt the love. I felt Stefan. No, why couldn't I have stayed there it was everything to me it meant everything. Wait where is my mom…she was there in the vampire diaries with me, but as my aunt wait why was she my aunt?

"Oh my" I hear a gasp I turn to see a nurse who seemed to be in shock "Your awake" she stated I wanted to slap her well duh I just had my neck snapped my heart metaphorically ripped out of my chest now my mother is nowhere in sight this day is the worst. "I'll go get the doctor" she adds quickly before running out the room I barely had time to think when a doctor comes rushing in. He starts to mess with the machines I'm connected to and fixes my IV in my hand.

"Hello Vivian were going to run a few tests to see if everything is alright" he states I nod, he asks me questions like my age, birthday, full name, what was the last I remember and all that jazz. "Well Miss. Marshal you've been in a coma for that last year your Aunt had us keep you alive on life support, but uh the decision was made to pull the plug today your heart continue to beat without the machine's help I guess your stronger than we thought" the doctor rambles

"My Aunt" I question

"Yes Mrs. Mary Marshal" he says looking at his clip board

"That's my mom" I correct.

"No your Aunt your mother is…Alicia Marshal passed away in 1995 from a drug overdose you were under the care of your father Paul Marshal, but he passed over a year ago, but wedded your Aunt beforehand who is now your legal guardian" the doctor explains "Sense Mrs. Mary Marshal is unequipped to take care of you now and you are now legal you can take care of yourself" the doctor explains

"What happened to my mo- I mean my aunt" I ask quietly

"She was charged on first degree murder for the death of Paul Marshal this morning in court after she gave us the heads up to pull the plug I'm so sorry for your loss" the doctor explains "You seem healthy. But I want to keep you here for observation you can leave in two days Miss. Marshal" the doctor states and walks out the door.

I cried and cried everything was falling apart. I lost Stefan, my dad, my mom who wasn't my mom, my real mom, my aunt killed my father. Right now I didn't want to be a vampire if I did my humanity would be gone I wish I had that privilege I want to feel numb I don't want to feel anything I don't even want to be alive everything is wrong everything and everyone is gone. All I want is my dad and Stefan.

"_You're the light inside my eyes you give me reason to keep trying_

_You give me more than I could dream and you bring me to my knees_

_And you bring me to my knees your heart is gold and how am I the one_

_That you've chose to love I still can't believe that your right next to me_

_After all that I've done"_

I wipe my eyes from any tears that were left behind I pull the IV out my hand and any other wire sticking to body. I rip the covers off my body and try to sit up of course it took patience and a lot of frustration I mean I haven't moved in a year. I take my time to stand and up and stretch and move around I go over to the nearby cabin to find a duffle bag with clothes I quickly get changed and sneak out of my room and out of the hospital I was on a mission. I make my way to the local jail and ask permission to see Mary Marshal I sit down in a telephone booth when she comes out to say she was shocked was an understatement she sits down and picks up the phone I do the same.

"Don't talk just listen" I snap "I hate you" I say "If anything your dead to me you killed my father you married your sister's husband you took me off life support for what so you didn't have to look at a spitting image of the man you killed was I just a constant reminder I hope I was, you deserve to live with the guilt for the blood on your hands your unbelievable I thought you were my mother my best friend but no your nothing and you deserve to rot in hell for this and I will see you there to watch you in pain" I hiss in the phone and slam it down and walk away without so much of a second glance.

"_I don't deserve a chance like this I don't deserve a love_

_That gives me everything your everything I want"_

All I was told was lies I don't deserve to have a psycho aunt, or a deceased father and mother, I don't deserve this life I deserve better, but the thing is I'm not going to get better all this is just one big lie this life is one big lie. I walk to the nearest hotel and get a room I grab the scalpel I stole from the hospital over my heart. I might have deserved better but I wasn't going to get it.

"_I don't deserve your love, but you give it to me anyways can't get enough_

_You're everything to me and when I walk away you take off running and come_

_Right after me it's what you do"_

One thing though I didn't deserve was Stefan he needs someone who isn't Elena or me. He needs someone who isn't selfish or needy or has a life that is so screwed up it is beyond repair he deserved someone perfect like him.

_Sharp shooting pain_

I look down to see the scalpel sticking out of my chest and blood oozing out. It was done. Everything goes black.

"_And I don't deserve you_

_And I don't deserve you"_

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***Special Author's Notes* don't ever think suicide is the answer it's not no one's life is ever too screwed up beyond repair if you have thoughts on suicide please talk to someone and please don't kill yourself, if you need someone to talk to I am more than happy to talk to you I know we may not know each other personally but I know what's it's like to be in your position and do you and I favor let's talk it out and carry each other's baggage let's find out who's heavier…**

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**Anyway the story isn't over yet so don't be so down who knows where the story will end. **


	17. Ch17 I Don't Deserve You

_**(A/N)**_

_**THE LAST CHAPTER IS HERE**_

_**I really hope you guys liked this story I am so sorry my updating was hectic, and sorry I didn't do all the flashbacks. Thank you for all your support it means so much! I love you guys! Thank you for joining Vivian in her journey I pretty sure she appreciates it. I decided there will **__**not **__**be a sequel I barely made it through this story so I doubt I can do a sequel. **_

_**I will continue to be writing stories so keep an eye on those. **_

_**Disclaimer I own nothing! Except for my OC(s)**_

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_**Vivian's POV**_

The darkness was like paradise. There was no pain, no hurt, I felt as numb as they get. I know I wasn't dead…and I know for this time I wasn't in the hospital. I wonder if the hotel clerk found me and patched me up. I might feel that I'm at peace, but I can't help feel a nagging in my brain…_Stefan. _How could I have been stupid to think that was real it was just myself conscience conjuring up a reality that I want.

"You're wrong you know" A deep familiar voice says to me sternly "I know your awake…open your eyes sweetie" A voice says I let out a sob and open my eyes there he was the men I've been yearning for even before the accident…

"Daddy" my voice was hoarse, but right now I didn't care. He nods his head and sit up and stand and run to him engulfing him in the biggest hug I could muster. "Oh my god" I breath out "Daddy I missed you like crazy I'm sorry I did this to myself I couldn't I just couldn't do it anymore I'm so sorry Daddy" I whisper into his chest. "I love you so much please, please, please don't ever leave me again I need you Dad I'm so sorry" I ramble

"Sweetie it's okay, I understand I've been watching you I missed you so much sweetie I love you too and I never left in the first place I was always there, but sweetie I want nothing more to catch up, but we don't have a lot of time" he explains he pulls back from the hug "Listen Vi when you went and met Stefan and them it wasn't a dream it was real right now in their world your laying on Stefan's bed he sitting next to you holding your hand waiting for you to wake up and silently thanking you for suggesting blood sharing" he says "In the other world you're in a hospital in surgery you have a decision to make there are three doors 1 go live with Stefan and live forever embracing the world because you need to learn there is more emotion than anger and pain" pause "2 you wake up in that hospital and get your life together you become someone make something out of yourself get some friends a boyfriend fall in love" anther pause "3 die in both worlds and you can remain in the darkness where its cold, lonely, and numbing" he explains

"What should I do" I ask with tears streaming down on my face "number 1 sound perfect but I don't deserve him daddy, door 2 that just seems like door number 3 their both cold and lonely" I try to explain

"Sweetie I can't tell you which one to chose, but I will say this door number 3 isn't an option okay baby girl please live, not for me but for yourself" my dad explains "I love you and I will always been watching over you" he says softly he pulls me in a hug kisses me on my forehead and backs away and disappears.

"Daddy" I shout "Dad please no" I sob and drop to my knees I just sit there and cry I finally stop and process everything and I really think about it and then sit on my bottom and bring my knees to my chest and begin rocking and mumbling the door number that I pick I open my eyes and a bright white light flashes and everything disappears in a blink of an eye.

I was laying down I open my eyes and realized where I was I smile I turn my head to him.

"Stefan" my voice was dry he lifts up his head and smiles and pulls me in a hug I hug back with everything I got. "I'm so sorry" I whisper

"There is no reason to be sorry it wasn't your fault I just wish I would have came in time to save you if anyone sorry it's me Vivian" he rambles

"No don't put this on yourself please just don't" I whisper

"Are you okay" he asks softly pulling away from the hug to look at me I look at him and I mean really look at him and I realized this is exactly where I want to be for the rest of my life

"Yes in fact I'm perfect" I say smiling and his kiss him hard on his lips.

A few hours later I made the decision to complete the transition and live off animals with Stefan. Caroline, Bonnie, and Jeremy took Elena away and are trying to get her emotions back on she was very disappointed to find out I was alive. Stefan and I well we decided to leave Mystic Falls for good and only come back for visits.

"All packed" I say bring down my two suit cases Stefan was already by the door waiting for me smiling. I smile back and kiss on the lips before turning to look at Damon who was downing his bourbon. I feel Stefan wrap an arm around my waist nudging me to what we discussed earlier. "Damon why aren't you packed" I ask smiling he looks at me questionably. Stefan and I talked and we felt bad for leaving Damon alone he lost Elena so I know he was hurting plus "So are you coming" I ask

"Why" he asks

Plus "Because I'm new at being a vampire and I know Stefan could handle me I just didn't think it would be right if my best friend isn't there with me" I say smiling Damon smirks.

"And what be a third wheel no thank you" he says I give him a look

"You know you want to come, stop being an ass and get your bag we have a world to see" I say he smiles and nods going up the stairs.

"You're amazing, you know that" Stefan whispers into my ear I turn to look at him.

"No I'm not in fact I'm the opposite I've been through hell and back literally bouncing between what feels like two different worlds and there was only one thing that kept me sane there was only one person that helped me through everything…you. You made me forget the bad you stuck by me through everything if anything Stefan you're amazing" I explain I give him a passionate kiss

"I'm also selfish by sticking by you because you deserve better but you chose me and that's amazing its indescribable how much I love you…and I don't deserve you"

"Come on lets go love birds" Damon says walking out the door Stefan and I follow but before I can hop in car Stefan grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him. And whispers in my ear…

"I Don't Deserve You"

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**The End**

**I hope you liked it **

**And I guess this is goodbye **

**Don't forget to read my other stories and I will be writing more in the future. **


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